what are you chasing after?

I’ve been reading a lot about Moses lately. The life he lived, great things he did, failures he had. 

There’s one particular story that has fascinated me and plagued me with questions. Moses is asked to speak to the rock to provide water for the people rather than strike it (read Numbers 20 if you are interested). 

A little context to the story, the Israelites are complaining to Moses and Aaron for the lack of water they have in the desert, Moses’s sister Miriam has just died, and now Moses and Aaron are face down at the tent of meeting seeking God for assistance. Here’s the Lord’s reply:

“Take the staff, and you and your brother Aaron gather the assembly together. Speak to that rock before their eyes and it will pour out its water. You will bring water out of the rock for the community so they and their livestock can drink” (‭‭Numbers‬ ‭20:8‬ ‭NIV‬‬).

Moses then takes his staff, marches out in front of the Israelites, and says, “Listen, you rebels, must we bring you water out of this rock?”(Sounds a little upset if you ask me, but, then again, I could be wrong). 

Then Moses does something interesting. You see, he doesn’t speak to the rock as the Lord commands, he strikes it. Twice. 

And then comes the part of the story that has horrified me, scared me, and made me ask so many questions: 

“But the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them”” (‭‭Numbers‬ ‭20:12‬ ‭NIV‬‬).

What? Did you guys just read what I read? Moses made one mistake, and now he isn’t allowed to enter into the promised land. Doesn’t sound very fair to me. I thought God was supposed to be slow to anger, abounding in love? Gracious and forgiving?

And what about when I make mistakes in my life? Does that mean God is going to take away all of the promises He’s given me for my life? 

I’m not exactly sure how to answer that, but I believe there is an answer that comes later, specifically in the next book called “Deuteronomy.” Here’s the scripture:

“Since then, no prophet has risen in Israel like Moses, whom the Lord knew face to face, who did all those signs and wonders the Lord sent him to do in Egypt—to Pharaoh and to all his officials and to his whole land. For no one has ever shown the mighty power or performed the awesome deeds that Moses did in the sight of all Israel” (‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭34:10-12‬ ‭NIV‬‬).

After Moses died, this is what is written about him. This is how his life is memorialized for all time. No prophet in Israel was like Moses. None did the signs and wonders he did in Egypt. No one has ever shown mighty power or awesome deeds like Moses. And the most important affirmation of all? He knew the Lord face to face.

Face to face you guys!! I don’t know about any of you, but there are days I don’t feel as close to Jesus as I’d like (less days than it used to be thank the Lord). Days when I feel like my mistakes have ended my chances of living the life God has planned for me. Days when I feel like all that I’ve done wrong has disqualified me from achieving my God-given dreams. And most importantly, days when I feel so ashamed of myself that I feel like I’ve cut myself off from God Himself.

And I believe that’s the point the scripture is wanting to declare (one point of many). Moses may not have gotten to enter the promised land, but he lived a beautiful life face to face with God. He enjoyed a life of wonder and adventure and power, all in a deep and intimate relationship with his creator. This is the true promise. God Himself is the true promise. 

Your reply, “But Zo, How can God Himself be the true promise? I thought God just did things for us, how can knowing God face to face possibly be enough to satisfy my life?” I know most people wouldn’t ask those questions out loud, so I thought I’d just ask it for you guys (honesty is good, especially with yourself). The answer to that question though? Man, it would take me all of eternity to answer. God is so big and so good and so kind that I dare not even begin to assume I know the answer to that. But, there is one scripture I can leave you with that may start to help you answer that, and after you read this scripture I encourage you, beg you even, to actively pursue knowing the character of God (found in His word, His people, and His Spirit). Here’s the scripture:

“The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love” (‭‭Psalms‬ ‭103:8‬ ‭NIV‬‬).

Maybe your dreams haven’t come true (or maybe they won’t, sorry if that sounds like a downer), maybe I won’t get to Africa when I want to, and maybe everything in life won’t go the way we planned, but in all of this will we remember the ultimate promise? The promise of knowing God Himself? 

Deeply. 

Intimately. 

Face to face.